Another year, another potentially blown-out-of-proportion epidemic. Let's jump on the bandwagon, shall we?

Ten Signs You Might Have Swine Flu
10. Mud puddles are nearly irresistible.
9. Your lips taste like bacon.
8. You find yourself oddly attracted to Kermit the Frog.
7. The term "Hamburger" annoys you for no apparent reason.
6. You have a tail...
5. ...And it's curly.
4. You're considering upgrading to a brick house in case of wolf attacks.
3. "Moons Over My Hammy" just isn't that funny to you anymore.
2. You wake up in bed with a pig and no memory of how you got there.
1. It oinks when you pee.

I'll be here all week, folks.