Can one letter really be better than another? Let's find out.

X often represents the unknown. Y stands in for "Why" in the literary wasteland that is txt-speak. Winner: X.

In a standard plot, X dictates all, being the independent variable. Y is the dependent variable essentially making it X's bitch. Winner: X.

X represents a strike in bowling. "The Y" is a nickname for the YMCA. Winner: X.

XXX is the most explicit of movie ratings. YYY is the rating given to movies like "Gigli" (as in "Why, why, why did they make this movie?") Winner: X.

"Triple-X" featured Vin Diesel and a shitty plot. "Triple-X: State of the Union" featured Ice Cube and a shitty plot. Winner (by default): Y.

X is the Roman Numeral for 10. Yotta is the SI prefix for 10²⁴. Winner: Y.

The X chromosome is a sex chromosome in mammals. The Y chromosome is a sex chromosome in mammals and triggers testis development. Winner: Y.

Generation X witnessed the end of the Cold War, fall of the Berlin wall, Grunge, Hip-Hop, and dotcoms. Generation Y grew up on instant messaging, the Internet, and cell-phones. Winner: Undetermined.

X-Ray Vision is one of Superman's many powers enabled by Earth's yellow sun. Y-Ray vision isn't possessed by any Superheroes (maybe Bizzarro Superman). Winner: X.

X is the INXS album that features "Suicide Blonde". Y is an album by the post-punk band "The Pop Group". Winner: X.

Xenu is a major figure in Scientology. Yahweh is English for the God of Israel. Winner: Y.

X marks the spot. Y kinda looks like a crotch. Winner: X.

Hardly a surprise, X proved itself the worthier of letters. Y, having been adopted late by the Romans in order to pronounce some Greek words, just hasn't had the time to build up the following of its rival. Overall Winner: X.

Hold on to your butts. Next week we ask: YOUR ASS vs. A HOLE IN THE GROUND.