There is a piece of popcorn under my desk. It's been sitting there for... honestly, I don't really know how long. A day? A week? A month, maybe? I don't remember the last time I had popcorn. Maybe never. And if never, then what does that mean?

I wonder what it's doing there. It just sits there, so quiet and still, silently judging me.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

I can't stop looking at it. It's right at the edge of my peripheral vision. It doesn't seem to do anything, or want anything, it's just content to exist and mock me.

What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to crawl under there and get it? Is that what it really wants? Am I supposed to know that? Is it passive-aggressive? Am I getting the silent treatment for some unknown and long-passed transgression? Is it mad cause I let it drop on the floor and roll all the way over there?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?! TELL ME HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT!

I gotta stop thinking about this. It's just a stupid piece of popcorn. I mean, it's not like it's evil. Popcorn can't be evil right? Shit, maybe it can? God, I'm cracking up. Get a grip. Get a grip.

I'm just going to let it go. I'm just got to sit here and ignore it. It's not even here. It's not important. I have no iterest in it. I don't even know what "it" is? What piece of popcorn? Popcorn who? Popcorn? Where?

Popcorn.

Popcorn.

POPCORN.

Dammnit!

I can't help it, it's right there! How am I NOT going to notice it? Maybe I can call someone. Yes, that's it! I'll call someone to take care of it! HA HA HA! Fuck you, popcorn! You thought you had me, but now look who's laughing! Sit there as long as you want with your piercing, salty stare, but someone is coming for you, oh yes, someone will make you pay!

Oh God, I think it moved!