To celebrate my impending, let's say Zinc, birthday, I decided to pack a piece of cake to eat after my lunch. Rushing out of the apartment this morning, as I am wont to do, I didn't have time to find an appropriate Tupperware container and instead chose to stuff my fluffy slice of tastiness into an average sandwich bag.

Sandwich bags, by the way, were apparently not meant for shuttling cake back and forth. Ostensibly they are designed for sandwiches. Pretzels, even, or Ritz Bitz, perhaps, but not cake. Not cake.

Upon realizing that it was the appropriate time to consume my birthday confection (that is to say "after lunch" and "before falling into a food coma") I retrieved the aforementioned "baggie" and set to devouring its contents. Initial inspections indicated that retrieving the cake from its plastic sheath would prove difficult. I am not sure if you are aware but cake frosting has a nasty habit of clinging to, well, everything: bags, plates, boxes, brides. Hungry, I opened the bag and stuck my plastic utensil inside, probing for a foothold (or rather, forkhold) upon the fluffy edifice. I succeeded, pulling away a small section, shoving it greedily into my mouth. I repeated this process, each time finding my efforts rewarded by less and less cake, the substance that was, in fact, the object of this entire exercise.

Eventually, a scraping method was employed to collect the now thoroughly pulverized cake remains and direct them to my "cake-hole" (perched, as you might have imagined, quite near the baggie mouth). Of course the situation escalated when the last of these morsels was exhausted: liberating the recalcitrant frosting from the plastic womb required more drastic measures. Faced with no alternative, I was forced to violate the integrity of the sandwich bag and turn it inside out, wearing it on my hand like a mitten, greedily suckling it like an infant at a sweet frosting teat.

Do not pity me, for at least I can walk away having experienced the full bounty of that slice of dessert. Lesser men would have been happy with just a taste. Not I. Not I.

But never forget this simple truth: It's hard to eat cake from a sandwich bag. But it's no less delicious.

Wikipedia is, for the most part, all kinds of awesome. Still, an encyclopedia that relies on the unwashed masses to generate its content can lead to some less-than-polished prose.

Behold the following:

Geodude's name comes from the word "Geode" as in a rock with a sparkly inside, and "Dude," usually used to describe a certain kind of male person.

Clever gamers IceAndrews and his friends decided to recruit members of the U.S.S. Enterprise D crew to form a totally awesome Rock Band, "The Ready Room":



(seen at Kotaku)

The local Giant Eagle grocery is clearly in league with Aperture Science.

Red Octane, makers of the Guitar Hero franchise, ships a wireless controller with their third installment in the popular series. Being wireless it requires batteries. Unfortunately it does not use the Xbox 360's chargeable battery packs, so you're stuck with using AA batteries or you can buy a rechargeable battery kit from Red Octane specifically for the device (perhaps part of the reason they don't support Microsoft's solution). Being a fan of rechargeability, I opted for the latter, and purchased said kit and two batteries a few months ago.

The other day I noticed that one of my battery packs had developed a defect--a slight depression and bubble on the surface. With Sony's "exploding laptop batteries" freshly in mind, I quickly removed it from the charger and set it aside. Can't be too careful, and a deformation could indicate a defect or a internal problem.

I contacted Red Octane and explained the problem, providing photographic evidence of the failure, fully expecting some laborious process to get it replaced or refunded. To my pleasant surprise, they contacted me promptly to apologize for the inconvenience and to let me know they were shipping me a replacement free of charge.

So, goodonya Red Octane for your customer support.

5ive Possible Flavors for a Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Named for Merlin Mann:

1. Merlin Minnt.
2. 43 Flavors.
3. Verlin Manilla.
4. Inbox Zero Celsius.
5. Churnin Manngo.
   

Ah, April Fool's Day, the bastion of prankery, and in some places an excuse to stick fish to people.
Here are some of the pranks I've come across today:

• How Stuff Works explains the new green The Air Force One Hybrid.
• ThinkGeek is offering some interesting items. I'm definitely picking up Super Pii Pii brothers for the Wii.
• CNET News.com is reporting Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg to Host SNL.
• World of Warcraft announced a new Bard class that can vanquish its enemies with the "power of rock".
• Xbox.com is advertising some new Spring items. Honestly, I've been waiting for Xbox Live the Boardgame for some time now.
• Bungie.net's player map seems to have found Mister Chief.
• Wizards of the Coast has updated their site to advertise D&D 4. The site now features 100% less art!
• WotC has also updated the D&D 4 errata. Who knew that D&D doesn't use dice anymore, but rather a core mechanic of rock-paper-scissors?
• Engadget Mobile has tweaked their logo a little in response to a cease and desist sent from T-Mobile concerning their use of the color magenta.
• Gizmodo appears to have been taken over by Mr. T.
• Google introduces Gmail Custom Time to ensure all of your e-mails are on time, even if you send them late, and is teaming up with Virgin to send you to Mars.
• The Wookiepedia has been translated to Aurebesh.
• Astronomy Picture of the Day is reporting that new International Space Station robot, Dextre, is demanding to be called "Dextre the Magnificent".
• IGN has the exclusive Legend of Zelda movie trailer.
• Kotaku is now exclusively covering cakes.
• Veronica Belmont of Mahalo Daily interviews Steve Jobs.
• Last but not least, check out some of the great Featured Videos on YouTube.