I went to the Cleveland Clinic today to have an asthma test done. It was an interesting experience and not altogether unpleasant. The test required no drawing of blood or inserting of objects into orifices clearly marked as exits, so it was the good kinda test in my book.

The procedure itself was rather interesting. The patient takes a few deep breaths into a tube to measure lung response. They then inhale (from another tube) a chemical that (may) trigger an asthmatic response. The lung response is tested again, and the whole process is repeated several times. The results of the reaction to the substance indicate the presence and severity of the asthma.

Each time they do the lung response, the technician is looking for "two good exhales" for an accurate reading. After doing this several times, we both sorta fell into a rhythm, and my mind began to wander. I started to think about what I must look like with this thing (about the gauge of a toilet-paper tube) jammed in my mouth as I sucked/blew on it as hard as possible. I realized that I was sitting there fellating some strange machine while another guy was mere feet away, looking on with interest. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. Besides, don't people usually get paid for this kind of thing?

Apparently my distraction was showing in the test results. "That wasn't a very good one. Try again," said the technician.

"Oh, sorry," I replied, returning to reality. "I was thinking about how... uh, rather, my mind was elsewhere."