There must be some kind of way out of here.
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Dear God, if I have to see that Dodge Ram "Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots" commercial again, I think I'm going to stab my eyes out with a pencil. Or a robot, whichever is within reach.

Seriously, Dodge. We get it. Your Ram is tough. Somehow, the participants of a child's game from the late 60's have come to life and, seeing the ultimate futility in their metallic deathmatch, have broken free from their handlers and their ring and chosen to rampage through the streets, rockeming and sockeming anything foolish enough to stand in their way. Of course, they are no match for your over-sized monstrosity of a vehicle. I can't help but read between the lines, though, Dodge. Are things not going well at home? I mean, clearly you are overcompensating. And since the Ram almost certainly represents the male member, I can only speculate on the true meaning behind an equally gigantic robot pounding on it. Trying new things, are you Dodge? Maybe something you read on the Internet?

Regardless, I'm tired of the commercial. It's like I can't escape it. During the abysmal Ohio State/Florida Tostitos BCS National Championship Salsa Game Chip Bowl Ole (or whatever it's called) I do believe the commercial was shown no less than 2,000 times. At one point in the first half I'm pretty sure Florida even called one of their two Dodge Ram Official Times out (sponsored by Dodge) in order to "Grab Life By The Horns". I'm also pretty sure Ted Ginn Jr.'s injury on the first play of the game was caused by an over-sized and overenthusiastic Rock'Em Sock'Em robot. But that may have just been my mind's way of dealing with the loss.

So Dodge, please do us a favor, and maybe cut back on the crazy amount of ad time you're purchasing. I'm sure your product is wonderful, and the commercial was amusing the first hundred times or so, but gives us a break. I think you made your point: Ram beats Robot. We get it. When I have saved up the money and find a parking spot large enough, I will purchase your vehicle in anticipation of the innevitable Human/Robot conflict.

Until then, let me watch my football (and everything else) in peace.
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6 comments
Anonymous said...
Is it just me, or are commercials and print ads getting more annoying/predictable. You know those Absolute Blah Blah ads in magazines? Its not cool anymore.

Your article reminds me of another article from this new blog, Jonny Rage. It talks about this website that has all these hilarious parody ads of "Absolute" ads, Joe Camel ads, and others stuff. I forgot the name of the website, But the blog is http://jonathanrage.blogspot.com/
OzzyC said...
Sorry dude, gonna have to disagree with you on this one. I thought the ad was really clever and thoughtfully played on the retro aspect of their core audience... the 30-to-40-something male.

Furthermore, as a current Dakota owner (the mid-sized version of the mammoth Ram), I can say with absolute certainty that my little Dakota can easily defeat a plastic robot with a rack-and-pinion neck. The Ram would eat it for lunch.
Kato (post author) said...
I'm not saying the ad isn't clever. I'm just saying it doesn't need to be played at EVERY commercial break. And during the championship game it was literally played at each break (which means I saw it probably once every three minutes--ridiculously often).
The StormBringer said...
anonymous (or should I say "Jonny Rage?"): Yours is the most feeble attempt to rustle up blog traffic that I've seen in weeks. Couldn't you just make your comment, and then say, "I have a new blog, please check it out?" Your traffic redirection b.s. is nearly as feeble as it is tired. Bea Arthur thinks that your methods lack creative energy.

Kato: Despite my not finding the ad clever, I feel that it wasn't played enough. Think about this events cascade:

1. A few more reps of that commercial are played.
2. EVERYONE in the country makes an intensely negative association with the ad.
3. This negative association directly causes Dodge sales to plummet.
4. The nose dive in sales causes the agency who made the ad to be fired.
5. The firing of the agency causes the sacking of the media planner who decided that it should be played so many times.
6. The newly-fired media planner, and the folks responsible for the "This is Our Country" Chevy ads meet in a Manhattan unemployment line.
7. That meeting results in these losers combining forces to create their own ad agency,not coincidentally the worst ad agency of all time.
8. The new agency is miraculously hired by Coca Cola, and creates an ad that is exponentially worse than any of their previous work.
9. The media planner, however, feels that the ad is so strong that he orders exponentially more spots than ever before, including the booking of the entire Super Bowl, airing the ad in 27 languages.
10. All members of the industrialized world, upon being subjected to this monstrosity, kill themselves.
11. The ad is dubbed an Extinction Level Event by those who escaped: hippie Baby Boomers who don't own televisions, the blind, and the deaf. All copies are burned, and the original master recording is sealed inside Mammoth Cave.
12. The shattered world is repopulated by the blind, deaf, people without televisions, tribesmen, and the people from the ad agency.
13. The process repeats itself in the year 2157 and every 150 years after that.

The fact that this didn't happen (as far as we know) is just a testament to the media planner's prowess, as they played it just few enough times that we didn't kill ourselves, and he or she wasn't fired. As strange as this may seem, I think that I've PROVED that we should be THANKING them for not killing us all.
Kato (post author) said...
Your imagination frightens me sometimes... in a good way.
Anonymous said...
I completely agree with this post. Here watching the Colts-Patriots when EVERY commercial break seems to include this ad, I needed to google "tired of the dodge robot commercial" to see if anyone else is just plain tired of seeing this one. I think Dodge probably paid too much for the CG and wants to get their money's worth in air time. As a result, we'll probably see it through the Superbowl, March Madness and the NBA playoffs. (sigh)

© 2009 Kato Katonian
"I'm glad to be with you, here at the end of all things."
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