Dear Adobe,

You and I clearly have a difference of opinion concerning the meaning of the temporal adverb "later". Princeton University defines later as: coming at a subsequent time or stage. Though I have been proven incorrect on numerous occasions (and this is apparently no exception), in context the phrase "Reboot Later" would seem to indicate that my machine will reboot at some future juncture as dictated by me, the user, when convenience or need most justifies it. Apparently, however, the true meaning of "later" in your world, dear Adobe, is a period of time somewhere between five and fifteen seconds after clicking the button labeled "Reboot Later".

I do not personally partake of that particularly immediate interpretation of the word, but I can find no fault in your interpretation, unconventional as it is. We will have to agree to disagree I suppose.

This would not have even come up had it not been for your software's insistence that it was imperative I upgrade any one of countless features, many of which I was either unaware existed or of whose purpose I was woefully ignorant. I am uncertain as to why Adobe Reader requires an "Anal Reaming" module, nor do quite understand what benefit the "Positronic Flux Matrix Engine and Waffle Maker" feature could provide, but since the nag screen appeared every time I perused a .pdf I figured they must be important. At least as important as the 3D plugin, I'm certain.

Of course, I fear I shall never experience the joy of these new features as you seem to think I must reboot my machine again in order to "install more updates" even though we've done this dance several times already. Are you toying with me, Adobe? Why must you keep from me your wonderful, wonderful reader? I simply cannot bear being away from its corpulent form. I am uncertain what to do with the time I'd usually spend waiting for it to load documents. I simply do not know how to use this surplus of system memory thrust upon me whilst not using your product. I shudder even to think of the time in the near future when this letter comes to an end and I must close my browser, knowing it will do so cleanly and without flaw, flaunting its lack of segmentation faults and zombie reader processes. It makes me ill. I feel lost, confused, and hungry for waffles.

Perhaps I'll try rebooting. Just once more. Just once more.

Love,
Kato