The WikiPedia defines neologism as: "a recently created (or coined) word, phrase or usage...an existing word or phrase which has been assigned a new meaning." Classic examples of this are words like cyberspace (from William Gibson's Neuromancer), Catch-22 (from the title of Joseph Heller's novel), Orwellian (from George Orwell, author of Nineteen Eighty-Four), and vorpal (from Lewis Carrol's poem The Jabberwocky). No doubt you've seen e-mails or web posts about a Washington Post contest in which readers are asked to supply new meanings for existing words, or take an existing word and alter one letter to form a new word and definition. Whether or not such a contest exists, the lists are quite funny. Here are two examples:

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. (existing word, new meaning)
Ignoranus (n.), a person who's both stupid and an asshole. (altered word)

So, in honor of April Fool's Day (or Poisson D'Avril for our French-speaking contingent), I thought I'd come up with a few of my own. Yes, I know April Fool's Day was a couple of days ago. Yes, I know I'm not funny and should consider writing VCR manuals for a living. Bear with me, okay, I think this might work.

Harpy (adj.), something that sounds like, or has the musical qualities of, a harp.
Manalogy (n.), the comparison of something to a dude.
Porcinelain (n.), fine china for pigs.
Fibonacci Numbers (n.), a sequence of numbers they made up in school just to keep you busy. See also Little White Primes.
Macrowave Oven (n.), home appliance which heats food using macrowaves. Is approximately the size of the average living room.
Circumstance (n.), a posture taken by males in which both hands cover the genitals and the face displays a closed-eye cringe. Often seen at brisses.
Felt (v.), Ebonics for "fell".
Mercenary Position (n.), intercourse with someone who was paid to have sex with you.
Pustulate (v.), to form a theory about an infection.
Genoacide (n.), the act of killing large groups of people with a hard salami.
Pestulance (n.), vehicle for transporting insects to a hospital.
Cockophony (n.), loud sounds coming from a rooster coop.
Spocktober (n.), tenth month in the Vulcan calender.
Foreplay (n.), sex on a golf course.
Vernacular (n.), the peculiar speech of Mini Me.
Fortnight (n.), an awesome sleepover where you build a fort out of blankets and pillows.
Prostitate (n.), Proctologists who sell their services on the street.
Fallacy (n.), something that isn't true during Autumn.
Tolkien Ring Network (n), a type of computer network, arranged in a circle, in which each machine fights for control of "the precious".
Collugeon (n), 1) a clandestine agreement among sledding teams. 2) Crashing your bobsled.
Mastication (n), chewing for self-gratification.
Barium (v), what mob hitmen do to their victims.

Now, my unholy army of WITFITS followers, it's your turn. I want everyone to post at least one (more, if you're feeling clever) original neologism to this thread. Feel free to either come up with a new definition for an existing word, or change the spelling of a word and submit it and its definition. I anxiously await your contributions.

Tags: Humor