An awfully crass post title from the normally easy-going Kato, I know, but seriously, bitch, what's your damage?

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of pounding wind and tapping, as if someone gently rapping, rapping on my bedroom window. Quoth the Kato: "WTF?" For whatever reason I decided to get up to investigate, probably less out of curiosity and more as a result of me having to pee like it was the end of the world. I looked outside and noticed that what had been a constant but gentle rain about four hours earlier had turned into sleet. Lovely. Still, I was only half-awake (or a quarter awake) and it didn't really register. I was just eager to jump back into my warm cozy bed and get back to my very interesting dream about Cleveland Indians' broadcaster Tom Hamilton rapping Eminem lyrics during a game. "...you only get one shot, do not miss you chance to blow, cause opportunity comes once in a lifetime--A SWING AND A DRIVE! DEEP LEFT CENTER! WAYYYYY BACK... GONE!!"

When I woke again I had a vague recollection of what I saw a couple of hours earlier and as I was getting dressed I chanced a look out the window again. Before me was the beginnings of a Winter wonderland, about two inches of snow covering everything. My reaction was, well, hostile. A few choice expletives escaped my lips, and even a few I think I made up on the spot.

For those of you not from Ohio, the weather here can be described as fickle at best. The summers are surprisingly hot (90-100 degree highs are not unusual) and frequently humid as hell. The winters are often fierce and bone-chillingly cold, and when it snows, it falls by the truckload. It is safe to say that most Ohioans (or at least Clevelanders) get a little anxious for Spring to come, and when it does there is an almost palpable sense of relief, as if everyone had been holding their breath and let it out in one giant sigh. Spring in Ohio can be strange in that it very rarely feels like we even have one. The weather will often go from below freezing to mid seventies, over night, without the kind of gradual transition you'd expect from the season. Winter clocks out and Summer clocks in, like two blue collar Joes working opposite shifts at some bizarre factory run by CEO Mother Nature.

Spring "officially" starts on March 20th, and relavitely on-schedule the weather here began to break. This whole week we've been enjoying warm temperatures and sunshine, and it felt like we'd finally seen the last of the fluffy white flakes. But no, it's like the mob, you try to get out but they keep pulling you back in.

Normally on weekends in the winter I sequester myself. I have a serious aversion to cold weather and a pointed dislike for Winter. Unless it is absolutely imperative, I will stay home so as to not have to set foot outside unnecessarily. So I was not exactly pleased at this little April Fool's joke. What's more, the first thing I wanted to do this morning before I forgot was go out and fill the engine coolant reservoir in my car. But She knew that. She knows everything.

So, I bundled up and went outside. I had little choice in the matter in that low coolant was preventing my heat from working in the car. No heat equals frozen Kato, which isn't a pleasant sight, I must say. As I worked my way down the stairs and into the parking lot to my vehicle, I cursed Her again. The temperature was hovering just around freezing, but the wind was whipping pretty fiercely, making it feel at least ten degrees colder. I opened my car and grabbed a snow brush, and muttered a few more choice words under my breath. You see, "just around freezing" is the worst possible weather condition for snow. You often end up with freezing rain that coats everything in a seemingly impenetrable sheet of ice. What's more, the snow is really more of a slush than powder, so it weighs about ten times more than it would if the temperature was just a few degrees colder. <grumble, grumble, grumble>

I finished my brushing (all the while sloshing through an inch deep slurry at my feet) and maintenance, etc., and made my way back up to the apartment. That'll be the last time I step outside until Monday.

Now to make the best of the situation and find me a nice hot cup of cocoa!

Footnote:
Power grids don't like Winter either. While writing this my power has gone out twice. Fortunately for me I have my PC on a battery backup for just such an occurrence. If I hadn't, this whole post would have been lost and I would have likely replaced it with a piece of violent fiction about me meticulously stalking Mother Nature and summarily dispatching her.

Tags: Life, Ramblings, Weather